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The Power of Us

The strengths-based approach to becoming the team you were meant to be.

THE POWER OF US

Become a power couple

Marriage is all about two very different people falling in love and complementing each other- until they don’t. Different styles of parenting, cleaning the house, and even different ideas of where you might go for the holidays eventually make marriage feel more like a battleground than a collaboration. The chaos, separations, and constant changes of the service lifestyle bring in additional challenges. The good news is, there is another way to fight FOR your marriage instead of in it.

Similar to superheroes, we each have a set of talents, or superpowers, that make us exceptional at some things but not ALL things. Also like superheroes, we must get to know those powers and develop them or they, too, will cause destruction around us. This is what I often see in couples by the time they come for help. Two amazing individuals who just haven’t discovered their superpowers yet. They haven’t learned to wield them for good. Even more, they don’t see their spouse as a superhero but have high expectations for them to act like one. The truth is, they both want to be seen for the value they bring. They are a Justice League or Avengers team waiting to happen.

Matt & Corie Weathers

Getting started

Take the Gallup StrengthsFinder Assessment

If you have not taken the Gallup Clifton StrengthsFinder® Assessment, go to gallup.com and choose between the Top 5 Assessment or the Full 34. You can always start with your Top 5 and later upgrade to the full 34 report.

Print out your results

Once you have taken the Gallup Clifton StrengthsFinder® Assessment, print out your results and take a look. Don't stress if there are parts you are unsure of. It will all come together.

Talk & Compare your results with your spouse

Make it a date night!! read through and discuss each other's results. Provide examples of where you see your spouses results in day to day activities, relationships, and planning.

Discover your true talent

Download the Power of Us Workbook and listen to the videos below to dive deeper into understanding your own talents. Be patient, you will forever be noticing and learning how your talents help you execute tasks and relate with others.

The Power of Us Workbook

    Develop laser-focused superpowers

    Consider strengths coaching to help you understand your own strengths, your purpose, and work through the challenges and misunderstandings of your relationship. Strengths coaching has been shown to improve communication, reduce conflict, and help you work through even tough topics like betrayal, grief, and hurt.

    34 Themes in Marriage
    Villians vs. Superheroes

    Adapted from Gallup's Clifton StrengthsFinder® Themes

    SUPERHERO: Helps others stay motivated to set and achieve goals.
    VILLAIN: Expects others to be constantly task oriented and self-motivating.

    Motivated by getting to the finish line or being “done”. They have a great deal of stamina, work hard, get great satisfaction from being busy and productive. In marriage, they are ready for the next task or goal to tackle.

    SUPERHERO: Motivates action when risk is imminent but action necessary.

    VILLAIN: Forces others to move too quickly or carelessly.

    With a “let’s get started” attitude, they motivate others to move quickly even when sufficient information is lacking. They are comfortable to “build the plane while it is taking off.” They often move faster than their spouse.

    SUPERHERO: Serves others by being flexible and casting vision with change.

    VILLAIN: Rarely makes a decision or expresses personal opinions/desires.

    They prefer to “go with the flow” and take things as they come. As a Relationship Builder, they “gift” others by adapting, giving them to final decision, being spontaneous and thrive with the opportunity to pivot.

    SUPERHERO: Organizes emotional chaos by using facts and creating order.

    VILLAIN: Minimizes the emotions of others with cold, detailed facts/energy.

    Able to think through all the factors that might affect a situation and search for reasons and causes. A Strategic strength, in conflict they see emotions as a distraction and will focus on facts, instead, to resolve it.

    SUPERHERO: Brings peace and order with prioritizing overwhelming details.

    VILLAIN: Forces the priorities they feel are important on others wtihout input

    Accomplishes tasks by grouping thoughts, concepts, or people into categories. They consider what is most efficient and prioritizes by considering what should happen first, second, third, etc.

    SUPERHERO: Reliable and loyal due to foundational values and sense of goodness.

    VILLAIN: Unwilling to forgive or extend grace to others who make mistakes.

    Accomplishes tasks by grouping thoughts, concepts, or people into categories. They consider what is most efficient and prioritizes by considering what should happen first, second, third, etc.

    SUPERHERO: Creates order with a strong voice and clear direction.

    VILLAIN: Commands others with no empathy and with selfish ambition.

    Motivates others into action with a confident and direct voice of leadership, They often feel self-assured in the path ahead. When used with kindness, others naturally have a desire to follow and trust openly.

    SUPERHERO: Inspires others to understand and be motivated with words/art. VILLAIN: Forgets to listen and over communicates. Uses various forms of communication to influence another into action. They may use a lot of words (or a choice few) or may use art, writing, dance, or other form of communication. May struggle if paired with a deep thinker or introvert who struggles to communicate.

    SUPERHERO: Inspires others to be their best and help the team win.

    VILLAIN: Excludes others by winning and needing to be first.

    Measures their progress against the performance of others. They strive to be first and find opportunities to win. As an Influencer, they encourage others to be their best and see the value of excellence.

    SUPERHERO: Remind others of our common bonds with a value of connection.

    VILLAIN: Unwilling to value or ignorant to the valid hurts that cause division.

    Notices the link between all things. They believe there are few coincidences. Motivated by seeing the connection of humanity and being a part of something bigger than themselves.

    SUPERHERO: Brings order to chaos through organization, systems, and routine.

    VILLAIN: Forcing others to our plan, holding resentment when they struggle with it.

    Accomplishes tasks approaches problems by valuing consistency as the answer. They might buy the same foods, prefer to do tasks at the same time everyday, and long for a schedule that looks the same each day/week.

    SUPERHERO: Helps others see a way ahead through lessons learned of the past.

    VILLAIN: Fights innovation and new ideas or forces others to stay in the past.

    A Strategic strength, this talent approaches future decisions by thinking about the past (lessons learned, past experience, etc). They may enjoy documentaries and history.

    SUPERHERO: Speaks directly about risks and slows down processes moving too fast.

    VILLAIN: Unable to move forward, paralyzed by options, and allows risk to fuel fear.

    Search for reasons and causes. They have the ability to think about all the factors that might affect a situation. A Strategic strength, they often will push away emotions to focus on the facts. Often risk-averse.

    SUPERHERO: An encourager/cheerleader to the discouraged, inspires others to grow.

    VILLAIN: Overinvests and exhausted by low performers who do not want to grow.

    They see potential in people and relationships. A relationship builder, they are often the encourager or cheerleader. They come to life when investing in a high performer but can be taken advantage of by low performers.

    They enjoy, routine, rules and structure. Their world is best described by the order they create. They get things done by organizing better systems of order. They may use routines and rules to help better their relationships.

    SUPERHERO: Brings order to chaos through routine, structure, and organization

    VILLAIN: Get stuck in routine, overly focused on “the rules”, struggles with life’s mess.


    Naturally able to “put themselves in others’ shoes” but even more so values emotions as part of the equation for decisions, relating, and accomplishing tasks. Will often put others first and need others to equally value emotions.

    SUPERHERO: Values others’ emotions when making decisions, considerate, thoughtful.

    VILLAIN: Sees others as cold and inhumane, can’t turn off awareness of others.

     

    Gets things done by zeroing in on one topic or task at a time. They can tend to get tunnel visioned, which can be efficient for them but misunderstood by others who see them lose track of time.

    SUPERHERO: Productive by concentrating on one topic or task at a time.

    VILLAIN: Loses track of time, puts tasks and interest before relationships.

     

    A Strategic talent to visualize the future almost in picture form and then make routes or plans on how to get there. May come across as a dreamer but effective for getting everyone in agreement on expectations.

    SUPERHERO: Reduces the anxiety of others with vision casting of a future picture.

    VILLAIN: Adopts the future picture as reality and is unwilling to adapt to new strategy.


    Builds relationships by striving for consensus. They see “us” as more important than “you” or “me”. Some may avoid conflict while others will aggressively engage it in order to reduce tension in the relationship.

    SUPERHERO: Senses the tension before anyone else in the room, inspires cohesiveness.

    VILLAIN: Avoids tension or aggressively chases down resolution sometimes too soon.


    They tend to have a flurry of ideas as a way to approach situations strategically. They may not intend to have all ideas acted on, however others may be unsure of which to execute and which are just “good ideas”.

    SUPERHERO: Uses innovative ideas to create new strategy and energy.

    VILLAIN: Too many ideas, not clearly communicated, that are forced or rigid.


    Builds relationships through being aware of others’ feelings and need to be involved with the group. They may be quick to invite others into discussions, events, or conversations.

    SUPERHERO: Senses when others are feeling excluded, thoughtful to expand the circle.

    VILLAIN: Includes others without asking, shames others as “unthoughtful” and “cliquish”.


    Build relationships by seeing the and appreciating the unique qualities of each person. They may parent each child differently or gift friends thoughtfully by considering their unique needs.

    SUPERHERO: Recognizes the uniqueness of others and tailors their approach.

    VILLAIN: Bucks the system of conformity and rules that need to apply to everyone.


    A collector of resources and information, they are strategic and collect off the other four of the top 5. If strong in relationship building they may collect people, or if intellectual they may collect thoughts and facts.

    SUPERHERO: Stores a collection of resources in case anyone needs it at any time.

    VILLAIN: Overwhelmed by their “collection” resulting in anxiety, stress, or clutter.


    Characterized by their intellectual activity, they are introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions. This talent is strongest when wisdom comes from all of the thinking and ruminating.

    SUPERHERO: Ruminates on difficult concepts and produces wisdom and direction.

    VILLAIN: Does not produce anything but is stuck in anxious looping.

    They have a great desire to learn and thrive off of new opportunities to learn. They often enjoy looking up seemingly random information or deep diving into topics and hobbies. They may even frequently change interests.

    SUPERHERO: Motivated to learn anything if it helps strategy move forward.

    VILLAIN: Consumed by opportunities to learn new things and absorb information.


    They thrive off of excellence and motivate others to seek greatness. They may be perfectionists or procrastinators. They see opportunities for events & projects to be “epic” and want to be a part of making it great.

    SUPERHERO: Fun, motivating, and excellent at the task or project in front of them.

    VILLAIN: Procrastinates or stresses over any task/project being less than epic.


    Often seen as a “ray of sunshine”, they invest in relationships by seeing the silver lining. Sometimes misunderstood by others if they do not express deeper emotions and can be frustrated by real or perceived negativity.

    SUPERHERO: Brings the “Silver lining” to others who feel stuck in negativity.

    VILLAIN: Exhausts positivity for others, resentful towards those not positive for them.


    SUPERHERO: Naturally takes conversations and relationships to a deeper, more authentic level.

    VILLAIN: Overwhlems others with deep topics, isolates to small cliques or group.

    Enjoy close relationships with others. They desire authenticity & transparency. They build relationships by bringing depth to conversations and relationships.

    SUPERHERO: Loyal, unwilling to quit, motivated by work ethic and solid reputation.

    VILLAIN: Overcommitted, resentful, and responsible to tasks and relationships they shouldn’t be.

    Motivated to accomplish tasks by attaching their psychological self-worth or reputation. They are loyal and often willing to overwork rather than quit what has been entrusted to them.


    SUPERHERO: Quick to see the problem, find solutions and know when to stop.

    VILLAIN: Sees problems everywhere, blames self and others, focuses on the negative.

    Adept at identifying and solving problems. They often motivate themselves by making tasks “problems to solve”. In relationships, they look for ways to “get better” or problems that need fixing.

    SUPERHERO: Motivates others into action with conviction, truth, and strong words.

    VILLAIN: Speaks but fails to listen, manipulates with a convincing voice or message.

    Motivated out of a deep assurance or “gut feeling” that they have thought through the matter and know the right way ahead. They influence others with strong assuredness and confidence.

    SUPERHERO: Motivates others to greatness by valuing greatness and aligning with excellence.

    VILLAIN: Focuses on being great themselves and chances fame, accolades, or the spotlight.

    Motivates others with a deep desire to want to be a part of something bigger than self, something excellent and significant, and align with those who also value excellence.


    SUPERHERO: Able to see paths ahead quickly and vision casts future plans for those who need it.

    VILLAIN: Forces strategy, is impatient, allows anxiety of the future to overrun them.

    Thinks through the best route to get from “A” to “B”- there may be several routes to get there. They may also think out one year and five year plans. Constantly thinking ahead, they have a hard time turning off their mind.

    SUPERHERO: Motivates others with charisma, earned trust, and a selfless smile.

    VILLAIN: Manipulates others with charisma aimed to gain influence for selfish gain.

    Stands for “Winning Others Over”. They tend to be the life of the party and influence others into action by making them feel valued. Often extroverts, they may focus on winning over the group rather than deep dives with individuals.


    The Power of Us

    A Couple's Strengths Program

    Our newest program walks couples through the journey of discovering their strengths so they can be the powerful team they always envisioned but haven’t been able to achieve on their own.  Using the Gallup StrengthsFinder Assessment, couples will be paired with one of our strengths-based clinicians that will help them individually understand how they are uniquely talented to relate to others, make decisions, and accomplish tasks. The program includes:

    • 2 Gallup StrengthsFinder Assessments
    • 5 strengths-based coaching sessions 
    • Individual understanding of their results
    • Mapping the “Couple Identity” and application to parenting, teamwork, conflict management, and communication strategies.
    • A “Power of Us” Workbook 
    • A FREE personalized “Power of Us” printable graphic with the couple’s individual strengths.

    *Some scholarships and funding are available for those who qualify.  Please fill out the form below or if you are ready to get started today, simply use the button below to book your first session!

    Use the form below for more information or to see if you qualify for a scholarship from one of our partners.